Lonely Birthday

This year has not fun, I broke up with the last guy I was with. To be honest, I still missed Rowan when I was with Rowe. Even with Dakota. He's never been out of my head and out of my heart. To be honest, I don't want that to change. I am deeply in love with him and I want him back. I was just listening to Amnesia by 5 Seconds of Summer and I had to leave the computer because I was going to cry and cried in the bathroom I was so depressed and was there for 15min. I made a lot of mistakes in the relationship, and I know that. I'm willing to change and do better. I was not fully there for him when he was always there for me and I feel terrible. I was a total jerk. If he still wants me I'll wait. Even if it's 50 years. I plan on not dating anymore until then. He's worth it. I got his mom upset too, and I also feel bad about it. I'll apologize to her when I see her again.